I was a freshman in college when my obsession with Avril Lavigne started. I remember watching her on MTV and thinking, “wow, this chick is badass and doesn’t give a damn about what people think.” I instantly had a new idol. I dressed like her, I mimicked her hairstyles, and above all, I felt like her songs were a soundtrack for my life.
I always found a way to relate to her music, but it was actually in September of 2018 that Avril spoke to me the most. This was when the battle with my health began, and oddly enough, it was the same week Avril released the single Head Above Water. The first time I listened to it, I burst into tears because it was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. She wrote the song at one of the lowest points in her battle with Lyme Disease. I could completely relate to feeling lost, scared, and overwhelmed – looking to a higher power for some relief.
Also if you are wondering what I thought when Avril married the lead singer of Nickleback, I’ll tell you it’s the only time I have questioned my love for her. Luckily, I only had to question it as long as their marriage lasted… which wasn’t long.
The reason I bring up Avril (besides the fact that I’m obsessed) is that this week I transformed into a rockstar. I didn’t join a band or dust off my guitar, but I did get a super rad new haircut that makes me look like I could be in a band, so therefore – I’m a rockstar.
Will you shave my head?
I decided this week that I needed to face the fact that my hair is going to be falling out – and soon. Instead of just waiting for that moment I thought I would do something fun with my hair first. I always thought a side shave would be awesome (I mean look how cool Avril looks) but I was too scared to take the leap. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it, so I called up my longtime friend Kellie (the little badass pictured with me above) and asked her if she would help me shave my head. She was a little scared but I assured her it couldn’t be any worse then the time she accidentally dyed my hair blue. Yes I know Kellie, that one was mostly my fault.
So it turns out I love my new do. I’m a little sad it took the fact that I’m going to be losing my hair for me to try it! Kellie said it best in the video below, “can we do this again in 10 years when all your hair grows back?!” Yes, yes we can.
Something I don’t want people thinking is that losing my hair is making me sad. Of course I’m bummed about it but it’s just part of the deal. If I have to lose my hair to get better, then I have to lose my hair. I got a cool side shave out of the deal and will end up with a fancy new wig in no time. Also yesterday the nice young man at the Hornbachers deli counter commented how much he liked my hair and reminded me that I might have cancer, but I’ve still got it. 💁♀️
The chemo is working, and fast
So, besides becoming a rockstar this week, I also finished my first round of chemo. Overall, everything went just about as good as it could have. I have been feeling great and was thrilled to get back to work this week.
My head is finally above water. After so many months of wondering where my health was going, I am finally seeing the light at the end of all of this. My doctors are already able to see that the chemo is working. They are monitoring my HCG levels (dropping HCG levels mean the tumor is shrinking) and they have dropped 90% since I started chemo. My goal is to get them below 5 and they are currently at 55 – really close! I’m hoping this means I’ll only have to do a minimal amount of rounds to kick Tommy tumor the heck out. I will be starting round two in about a week.
Since I don’t have any chemo this week I will be finding time to relax, enjoying my time back at work and heading on the search for the perfect wig.
Keep on rockin’
On this episode of Crushing Cancer watch as I finish up my first round (with a little help from my friend Benadryl), play with legos, and shave part of my head.
Special thanks to Kellie for making me feel like a Rockstar.
P.S. My pal Megan, who is a light in my life on a daily basis, has started a GoFundMe for Adam and I as we face the financial challenges that come along with Crushing Cancer. Cancer sucks but I appreciate that it’s reminding me of all of the amazing people that I have in my life, my heart is full. 💜